Lindsay Lohan on GQ Germany

I often ponder many things such as why the good things in life are always the worst things for you (You know what I’m saying, LL?), why I happened to see a crazy, tanned old man in a floral shirt with short shorts in my work and almost five hours later while glancing into McDonald’s while waiting in the drive-thru. Also, I wonder where Lindsay’s belly button has gone to? I understand those are high-waisted bottoms, but I just feel it may have drifted off the map.

The Lohan doesn’t look particularly bad and I rather enjoy the cover and her bikini that is trapped somewhere between the 90s and now, I just wish she didn’t look like that. A little less makeup, a little less over-processed hair/extensions, and a little shower never hurt anyone. I’m tired of seeing high school girls with their raccoon eyes, so I don’t need to see it outside of work and on magazines, Linds. Have fun in jail, darling. I believe that you can do it, so stop your whining and just get it over with. If all else fails, I’m sure Hollywood will help you with Herbie Fully Loaded 2: [Insert Clever Title Here].

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