Met Gala: Ughs and Fugs

Dear, dear Legs McGee. Can’t you mix it up a bit? While I do love this Marchesa dress, in love with it, I’m simply tired. Pick a new card next time. You are always showing leg and boob together. Pick one or go home darling. It’s a bit overplayed.

I see vampires can’t pull of haute couture, Bella. I thought Alice would choose better clothes for you, am I right?!

Jessica Biel, I want you to go away and never come back. There is a reason why I didn’t purchase your Vogue cover and just took it from my friend’s apartment complex. You are BOOOORRRRIIIINNNNGGGG and I don’t like you. You look disheveled and like you don’t care. If so, go home and never show your face again. I’m sure 7th Heaven is waiting for a reunion special of sorts in the future.

Renee, why such robotic and manly shoulders you have. I kid, but seriously. How predictable was this Carolina Herrera gown? You should really learn how to pose.

I love YSL, but this just didn’t cut it, January. You look like a mess. Better luck next time.

Gaga, why are you disappointing me?! First you don’t walk the red carpet in what could have been awesome Prada, but you decide to wear this tacky wig and Mr. Armani created this nude, jeweled bodysuit I’m fairly certain I’ve seen Brit Brit wear on more than one occasion. Yawn.

Tina, I don’t get the joke.

My, my Mr. Wang. What did you dress M.I.A. in?! It’s like a gold spiderweb of crazy. I don’t even know what to say.

Margherita Missoni, you’re a mess. That is all.


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