(Smacks lips) Wow…just, wow. Hello horse-face, how are you doing? I kid, mostly. I wonder if the glitter is generally the distraction of how masculine her features are, because you show Zach a little shine and you have my attention for hours on end. I think I enjoy only three things about this editorial. The posing and whatnot isn’t terrible, except those disgusting platforms. Anyway, to the things I liked: 1) I like her nails. The three shades not only match that atrocious paint, but they’re actually really awesomeballs. 2) I love the coctail ring. I love big, oversized statement rings and it’s fantastical, just like the glitter animals, probably some sort of dumpster diving raccoon of sequin and shine and drunken unicorns that follow Ke$ha in her dreams. Actually that seems like such a Snow White fantasy, but involving less wholesome goodness and more bottles of Jack. Last but not least, 3) It ends. Thank someone somewhere that this mess ends. I hope someone hosed her down out back after this shoot, because she probably already needed anyway.