Cady Heron Out at Vogue Event in Milan

Can we discuss the Lohan? I will always support her past, present, and future endeavors in whatever this girl does nowadays besides being some crazy secret celebrity hoarder. Let’s get real, we all know that they probably payed you for that story. Seriously, how would that ever have come up in conversation for segments? And since when did Niecey Nash and her fugly hair flowers become a celebrity psychologist for “The Insider” and refer to herself as Momma? Sure she hosts that one show where they clean peoples’ homes, but it’s not like she really is trained in the field and knows what she’s talking about. No, really, hair flowers. A little tired by now me thinks…

Anyway, I digress. Lindsay, I truly love you. We spotted you out and about and I’ll have to go with I think you were looking good. Try not to act sexy, because it comes off as forced and whorish, and I believe Paris Hilton pretty much covers that for everyone. What I’m trying to get at is, continue looking like this, slowly go back to red locks, wear a bra, and do something about Ungaro. I know it’s not like you really do anything with that gig, but if you have any input, I feel you could be doing better. 

P.S.

Could we work with Tina Fey again? Yeah, do something about that. You have an acting talent and that’s where you should focus. Trust me. I’ll hold you through the end with a line of coke always waiting on standby to comfort you.

P.P.S.

Don’t ever do coke again. Bad for you sinuses. Don’t want you ending up like Scarface or following this path behind Donatella Versace now do we?

P.P.P.S.

Hey Cavalli, looking a little crazy.

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And to brighten up your day even more:

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