Tag Archives: Rants and Raves

The Douchebag Frat Mathematics

If you are like me, you might live on a college campus during the school year and are far too familiar with campus trends and fashions. Half of them can hardly be considered as fashions, rather tragedies and appalling combinations. While sorority girls tend to lead with horrendous and questionable trends, I think they have major competition with their equal counterparts, frat guys. I apologize to my roommate’s boyfriend as he does not fit into this category, but the rest of you out there remember, you’re just the worst. You’re welcome.

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Typical Douchebag Frat Violations

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6 Rants That Could Go One and On

1. What are the deal with these obnoxiously ugly Silly Bandz®?  I understand it’s just another meaningless fad, but seriously? Rubber bands that are in the shapes of animals and countless other things? This has to be a trend for middle school students and below as well those that include in the scene and hipster group varieties that believe they dress “different” to be “unique“, when in fact they all dress exactly the same and buy into whatever gimmick they’re after. It has Hot Topic written all over it and much to my surprise, Hot Topic doesn’t even carry them, which leads me to number two.

2. Hot Topic apparently is promoting crop tops. They come back every decade in a new form and I don’t appreciate it’s terror on my eyes and those with taste. Why would any girl want to frolic about in a cropped T-Shirt with the print of the American flag? Because they’re trashy, that’s why. I imagine them paired with frayed jean skirts or something that falls into the leggings variety, which by the way, are not or ever pants. You look like filth.

3. That hippie headband trend has got to go. No, you don’t look good, you look like a big FAIL.

4. I’m still upset at those jean short cut-offs guys wear. Fools.

5. Ke$82@#a. This is pretty much unrelated, but I don’t understand her public persona. She does her robot moves on stage and emits the glow of a low-rent hooker that has a fetish for all things crafts, feathers and glitter particularly. While alcoholism and crafts are a few of my favorite things, she is not. Take a shower girl.

6. Vogue. Come now, Anna, I read who is rumored to be on the August cover. Gwyneth Paltrow. Color me unimpressed. While she may have a flare for style, pretty, and legs up to the moon, her personality is about as vibrant as a toaster. I’m dearly hoping this is yet just a rumor, because the way your covers tend to bore me to endless lengths, this cover girl is one I could go without for the 1,321th time. Try a model. Maybe one that’s not Gisele and it doesn’t have to be Kate. Choose a trio of models with fierce gazes that have smizing written all over it. I double-dog-dare you. Maybe triple.

I don’t EVEN know…AGAIN

I’ve lost all hope in humanity. Really?! Okay, apparently before that awkward powder incident, she’s parading around town with Perez, a horrendously golden Perez at that. Not only that, but the picture with the one and only fabulous Liza leaves me absolutely speechless. It’s like spotting a rare animal mating out in the wild. This actually frightens me to no extent and I want to know what is happening in the world that it has to chew and spit this at me ever so violently. Well, I don’t know what to think about this world. I expect you to be bringing on the Apocalypse, raining frogs, blood, and all that jazz. Life apparently is no cabaret, old chum, so please tell me why this had to happen. I need Ms. Norbury to gather us in the school gym and explain this to me through group exercises and quickly thought up reasoning, because I have nothing that could help at this point.

Okay, apparently the first is at a Paramount party and the Lilo in a turquoise dress is at Perez’s birthday bash. Anyway, you have to wonder why she’s even there.  I…just…don’t. On one hand, Lindsay is looking pretty good and has laid of the tanning. Only  if she just let her lips alone and didn’t try so hard being sexy. She can do that without trying, otherwise it comes off skanky and filthy, and the latter is what has been really shining lately. Girl, call up Tina and get yourself back on track. Do it for me and my sanity, please and thank you. I’ll bring you endless Red Bull and Parliments you could ever dream of. Think of me, will you. Think of me.

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For the Love of H&M and Masculinity

Saturday I should be heading up to Chicago and hitting the H&M’s hard. There is one particular item that catches my eye. It is this jersey top that has horizontal, sequin stripes. It is part of “The Blues” campaign. This catches my eye and actually leads me into my discussion of masculinity vs. femininity that I have put off for so long, but I’m dying to have it. While I don’t know what the sleeves look like, I do want to buy it in a small enough size to see the length. If it isn’t too long, I can definitely pair it with a nice blue blazer, rolled up sleeves that I can’t get enough of, some jeans, and maybe some nice oxfords worn without socks. There are variations of course that I could wear this, but I really want it. Why can’t a male wear a sequin? Why must they be considered a feminine item?! I like to be flashy and I can certainly turn any feminine item and wear it as my own, or at least die trying, thank you.

While I’m not talking about Rupaul and the drag races in all of this fabulous land, I do want to make the argument on why a man isn’t normally allowed to wear womens wear. I have been of late taking an influence from womens wear and mixed it into menswear. I’ll wear a piece of costume jewelry here and there, mix a little glitter into the mix, and I have enough chutzpah to make me stand out in a crowd. I’m certainly not sliding down any magical rainbows on my unicorn tossing glitter from here to the alley Ke$ha stumbles out of in a drunken stupor, but I do appreciate a man pulling off  feminine clothes, jewelry, etc. and having the confidence to do so. I don’t believe this necessarily has to be done so like Liberace, but honestly, why not? This isn’t just if a man can pull off a pink or not, people. I seriously wonder this all of the time.

For Halloween, I attempted to pull off stilettos for my Amy Winehouse costume. Hell, I worked them harder than any hooker on Sunset Blvd could. Turns out, it isn’t so hard to walk in heels. I also see their point for womens fashions and I see their beauty, but why are women only destined to wear such beauties? Why must they be the only ones that go through such pain to look so damn good? Fashions evolve, I know this, I wouldn’t dare wear a pair of JNCO Jeans from my youth and think of myself as sane, but men’s fashions have always derived from what women wore. In the 18th century and even before that, men were just as flamboyant and frivolous in attire that women had to keep up with them, going all out in ornateness and detail with raised pompadours and wigs and wide panniers in their gowns. Men weren’t nicknamed “dandies” without reason. Alas, times have changed and men have taken a more masculine approach in doing the “manly” work, etc. but times are changing and women have a general equal role as men.

Sometimes I’m confused at why there are these needs for minor differences. If I wanted to run out in a pair of YSL Tribute pumps or some sexy Louboutins paired with a skinny jean, who’s to stop me? I’m not saying I would or ever will, but who’s to say that image of me doing so is something negative and wrong? Marc Jacobs can come out in a skirt and blogger Bryanboy can wear a stunning necklace paired with a purse and heels and the general publics consensus would be that they’re different and would frown heavily upon such sightings. Well, I shun you general public. I think those instances are rightly fashionable and glamorous and I don’t need societal norms to come in to sway my opinions. I don’t need the excuses that he’s a designer or he’s a flamboyant fashion blogger to reason with me. I’m going to search those H&M racks for that jersey top and maybe some womens blazers and mix it with my menswear. I’ll be looking better than anyone else every time I go out. Hell, if any coal minor, blue-collared American wanted to wear a pair of stilettos to the local tavern, the man certainly can work that, and I end that with three snaps in a “z” pattern. At the least, that image is something that is laughable.

Androgyny is also part of this debate I have. Women have always worked the androgynous look the best. Yves Saint Laurent pioneered the pantsuit for women and women have ever since have been influenced by menswear and add it to their wardrobe at all levels. I feel it’s a rarity to see androgynous males. Someone like David Bowie comes to mind, but the flamboyancy he had/has and that many rockers possess is still there. I’ll continue to add pieces womens clothing into my wardrobe, but I try to add something to counteract that. It’s all in how you do it and the confidence you bring to the table.

Now I add a conclusion to this, because I’ll continue typing into the wee morning hours and this will never stop chugging along in my mind. I’ll add more blog posts about this subject from time to time, because I’ll always be thinking about these things as my fashion sense evolves. I like to experiment with such things and will be doing so ladies and gentlemen. Let’s see where this catwalk take us, please.

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Not hers…

This is more of long rant that I need to get out. I have an odd need for celebrity gossip. I frequent many sites just to get my fix, and this is easily compared to Courtney Love’s starvation of shameless press and coke. Anyway, there is this one gossiper that should not be named that has this love for Lady Gaga. While I do enjoy some Gaga even more than the next raging gay, something has been bothering me. She has been put on this pedestal that she shouldn’t be on. How does this relate to fashion? Well, there has been some recent posts of Hot Topic stealing her fashion. While she may certainly wear these items, e.g. lace rabbit ears, flip glasses, lightening bolt under the eye, she was certainly not the first to accessorize as such nor was she the designer of anything on this endless list. True, I see your point that they might not be selling and promoting without Gaga being increasingly popular, but let’s give credit to the creative minds where credit is due, please. They’re not exactly ripping her off, so move on and accept it for what it is.

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